The do’s and don’ts of networking

By Guest Contributor 

By Milton Kiang, professional resume writer at resumeprofessional.net

We network because we don’t work and live in a silo. Due to human nature, we tend to trust doing business with people we know or who are referred to us. People often think of the need to network whenever their jobs are in jeopardy, or whenever they’re in search of new business. You hear them say, “I need to go out and start networking!”
But building up a good network doesn’t happen overnight. Business professionals need a better understanding about what networking is and isn’t. Here are 10 do’s and don’ts of networking:

Networking is:
1. About taking a keen interest in people and what they do. Some say that in a social setting, people don’t want to talk about work. Nonsense. Why should talking about work be limited to just industry cocktail functions? People like to talk about themselves and, generally, the work they do. Try to make connections on a personal and professional level.
2. About carrying business cards everywhere you go. I can’t remember the number of times that people forget to carry their business cards when I ask them for one.
3. About joining an organization, association or committee outside of work, where the mandate, activity and people interest you. Your aim should be to seek enjoyment and fulfillment from your participation.
4. About attending a business reception or cocktail event at least once a month. There are some who aren’t crazy about attending networking functions. They might be put off by crowds or feel hesitant talking to strangers. But it still gives you a chance to get out of the office and meet people whom you otherwise wouldn’t talk to in your normal course of business. If you make it an objective to meet at least one or two interesting people, and limit yourself to staying an hour, then you might find yourself enjoying these events.
5. About staying in touch. If someone has made an impression on you, drop her an email to say “Hello.” This helps solidify your bond, and even if you don’t meet up again for the foreseeable future, your email will help her remember you. Every so often, reach out to acquaintances who normally aren’t part of your “inner circle,” and go out for lunch or coffee. Maintain your presence out there, no matter how busy you might be.

Networking isn’t:
6. A “one-off” activity, or something that you can “switch on” whenever you need new customers or job contacts. It’s something that you do on a continuous basis. It’s a mindset, a holistic way of thinking about people and relationships.
7. About creating a huge number contacts over a short time period. It’s about developing quality relationships over the span of your career. Take the time to find out more about the people in your business or social circle. If you think that two people in your circle might benefit from knowing one another, don’t hesitate to make introductions. That’s what a “good networker” does, and people will remember you for it.
8. About attending business functions simply to find new customers or pitch for new business. This is the wrong approach. People don’t like being “sold to” at cocktail receptions, even if those events are industry-related.
9. A one-way street, where the sole purpose is for you to capitalize on your contacts. You might hear a person telling a networking success story about how he got his new job through a contact he knew. What you don’t hear is that this person was either incredibly lucky or relied on a contact whose relationship took years to cultivate. For networking to work, you must give, which means giving referrals, making introductions, and supplying helpful contacts to acquaintances.
10. About relying solely on social media. Facebook and LinkedIn make it easy to build up contacts, but this isn’t the same as meeting someone in person. You need to be seen and heard, and you need to create an impression.

9 Tips to Negotiate Your Starting Salary

It pays to know the risks and benefits

By Glassdoor

By Linda Whitney

How would you like to get a raise before you have the job offer? It is possible, and candidates are doing it right now. Employers are not averse to increasing pay packages to secure the right candidate.

If you have the kind of specialist skill or unique experience that employers are desperately seeking right now, it could pay to negotiate over the starting salary for a new job. Here's how:

1. Benchmark your value. Check vacancies that require your skills and experience, and read relevant trade press articles and statements by recruiters that specialise in your sector. If it turns out that you are a desirable commodity, you stand a good chance of being able to negotiate up the salary quoted in vacancies.

2. Apply for jobs as normal, but try not to get involved in discussions about salary at initial interviews. Asking about salary before you have been offered the job is usually risky because it looks as though you are only interested in the money. For those who plan to negotiate the salary upwards, it's an even bigger mistake. You don't want the employer to rule you out at an early stage because they fear you will be expensive.

3. Meanwhile, prepare your case. Start with the current pay rates for employees like you, and then factor in the extra value you bring based on your special skills, experience, network of contacts, visibility within your sector and greatest successes, expressed in terms of financial benefit to your employer. Work out the amount of extra salary you ideally want, and have solid evidence that shows you are worth it. Base your reasons on the benefits you will bring to the new employer, not the benefits for you.

4. Then work out the amount you will settle for as a compromise. Look at the whole remuneration package, including benefits. If they will not pay the total salary you are looking for, they may be persuaded to make up the shortfall in increased benefits so as to bring the whole package up to a level that suits you.

5. Wait until they offer you the job. Simon Horton, author of Negotiation Mastery, says, "You are strongest when they have offered you the job but not named a figure. Then get in first with a high figure, otherwise they will start low and it will be hard to negotiate upwards." State your ideal figure. You may be lucky; they may simply accept.

6. If they demur, ask why and listen carefully to their reasons. Be prepared to explain why you are asking for more money. Again, stress the benefits for the employer. It will make you a stronger negotiator if you do not see it as an oppositional process. Horton says: "If you enter a deal with a win-lose approach, you will invoke a win-lose approach from the other party." Realise that you are both on the same side – they want you as an employee and you want their job. Then it just becomes a process of working out how you can achieve your mutual goal – both sides win.

7. Have a plan B, such as taking a job with another employer or staying with your existing job. If you have an alternative offer, it may be worth mentioning it. Whether you choose to do this or not, the knowledge that you have an alternative plan will make you a more confident negotiator.

8. Be flexible, but do not compromise too soon or too easily. Be prepared to give them time to think, and to ask for time to think yourself.

9. If all else fails, be prepared to walk away.

Making A Good First Impression With Your Interviewer

10 time-tested tips

By Susan Ricker, CareerBuilder writer

Meeting with a job interviewer evokes a strange feeling: This person, who you've likely never met before, has a strong hold over your future, and you want them to like you and approve of you. After all, that approval can translate to a job offer and other potential career perks.

What if you had a checklist of the important criteria the interviewer is hoping to see? A cheat sheet of what the interviewer is looking for in a star candidate?

From the time you get offered an interview to the days following your meeting with the hiring manager, there are some key steps to take that will ensure you meet the hiring manager's criteria, as well as stand out from the competition. Ford R. Myers, president of Career Potential, LLC and author of "Get The Job You Want, Even When No One's Hiring," offers job candidates his 10 guidelines to make a good - and lasting - first impression:

1. Be mindful of the other person's time. Ask how much time the other person has to devote to the meeting, and hold to that time frame.

2. Ask questions about the company and the open position.

3. Dress appropriately.

4. If you were referred by a mutual friend or colleague, reference that person in positive terms. This helps build a "personal bridge" and establish rapport.

5. Take notes throughout the interview. This shows that you are interested and engaged enough to be taken seriously.

6. Arrive to the meeting on time. This shows that you respect the other person and that you are a true professional.

7. Be fully prepared. Learn everything you can in advance about the company, the opportunity and the interviewer.

8. Make a connection between your past successes and how they relate to the prospective employer's needs and challenges.

9. Present yourself as a solutions provider rather than an applicant. Offer to be of service, and show genuine interest in helping the interviewer solve his business problems.

10. Follow up with a timely thank-you note. This is a must.

From Myers' tips, it's clear that hiring managers are most likely to consider candidates who demonstrate an actual interest in the position and company and show respect for the interviewer's time and expertise. Also key to a job candidate's success is creating a personal bond with hiring managers: Any common bond you can establish with them makes them more likely to view you as a good fit for their organization and someone they can relate to and work alongside.

Remember that the interview isn't a time to coast by on your intuition or something that you can get through by faking it. These opportunities are still infrequent for many job seekers and shouldn't be treated lightly. "In today's tight job market, so few job seekers actually make it to the interview stage," Myers says. "By incorporating these simple suggestions into the interview process, job seekers will make a good first impression, be memorable, receive better feedback and ultimately get more job offers."

And as Myers' tips and advice reveal, by taking time to prepare for the interview, being mindful of the hiring manager's needs and taking steps to be punctual and thoughtful before and after the interview, it's possible to make a strong impression on the hiring manager and even get the job.

The Weekly Roundup: All In On LinkedIn

43 Tips To Supercharge Your Profile

By Bill Hartnett

LinkedIn is your resume, cover letter, online portfolio, professional social network, blog, business card and more all rolled into one. More than 300 million people use LinkedIn and it keeps expanding in size, power and influence. If you're not making the most of what the site has to offer, you are missing a massive opportunity to grow your network and forward your career.

I've written plenty about LinkedIn before, from the basics to headline tweaks to their newest app, so let's get right to business and see what the experts around the web have to say. We've got smart tips for beginners and hard-hitting advanced studies for the LinkedIn pros. That's a total of 43 great strategies and tactics to put to use immediately. And away we go.

Search Job Openings

In Partnership With

4 Rookie Mistakes You Need To Avoid On LinkedIn
Let's start with the basics. If you want to get a jump on the competition right from the get go, check out a must-read from the brilliant minds at Careerealism. This is a great primer in how NOT to behave on LinkedIn. Don't become a LinkedIn casualty, start your education here.



3 Things You Must Do to Improve Your LinkedIn Profile
Social Media Today has more LinkedIn blocking and tackling to get you on the right track from the beginning. The focus on profile picture, job title and making the right connections is spot on and will set you up with a great foundation. Jump in right now.



Do You Have a Professional LinkedIn Profile Picture?
It seems like a no-brainer, but countless people don't even have a headshot on LinkedIn and others post a photo that is completely inappropriate or unprofessional. Don't forget the power of a first impression, people. Still need help? AppleOne breaks it down into an easy checklist for you on their Career Seekers blog.



7 Ways to Get the Most out of LinkedIn in your Job Search
Who better than a recruiter to tell you exactly how to optimize your profile to get results when hunting for a new opportunity? Andrew Glave from Simply 360 provides deep insights into making your LinkedIn presence recruiter-ready right here.



6 Recruiter-Recommended LinkedIn Tips
Continuing on the Inside Baseball knowledge straight from recruiters, Social-Hire has not just six as advertised, but EIGHT great tactics to power your profile. This is all killer, no filler information and you can put them into action right away by heading to their website.



10 Tips for the Perfect LinkedIn Profile
This might be one of my favorite LinkedIn pieces ever. The great people at Link Humans teamed up with LinkedIn on how to build the perfect profile. Not only did they break it down into truly actionable advice, they rocked it with an infographic suitable for framing. See it below and you can tap into additional wisdom on their site.





10 Ways to Boost Your LinkedIn Presence to That Next Level of Awesome
Good things seem to come in tens this week. And this fine example of LinkedIn post-graduate studies from the US News & World Report On Careers blog is pure gold for job seekers. Some of these are expert-only, so if you want your profile to POP then start by clicking now.

What are your insider tips on optimizing LinkedIn for job search? Share them in comments. Have a great 4^th of July weekend!

Debunking Workplace Mythology

Boilerplate career advice will only take you so far 

By Jessica Hagy

We're told to be passionate, dedicated, educated, and focused. But boilerplate advice will only get you so far before you begin to doubt it, and see what's really determining your career path.




Myth:
Your work is your deepest passion, your truest love, and your reason for being.
Fact:
Even when you like what you do, work is called work for a reason. Don't feel too terrible if you love your spouse more.




Myth:
If you work hard and make yourself useful, you will be rewarded. Your status and position is entirely up to you.
Fact:
Life happens. Politics happens. Recessions happen. Setbacks will occur. Not every talented person is rewarded, and some dim bulbs scamper up the corporate ladder with ease. Don't take any of it personally.




Myth:
Your education, skills, experience, and dedication are the foundation of your career.
Fact:
It's not about what you can do. It's about who you know. You can be brilliantly impressive on paper, but without connections, you will languish in the dark.




Myth:
You need to specialize early and focus on a very narrow skillset, so that you can become an expert in your chosen field.
Fact:
Times change. Markets change. People grow. Technology advances. You need more options than a tiny niche affords you. Give yourself room to think so that you can adapt to all these things.

The competitive effect: 10 metros with high post-recession growth

By Matt Ferguson



By Matt Ferguson, CEO of CareerBuilder and co-author of “The Talent Equation”

Economic experts declared June 2009 as the start of the U.S. recovery from the Great Recession. While that assertion was statistically true, it hasn’t necessarily been felt in all corners of the job market in the years since. The growth rate in local economies throughout the U.S. didn’t always reflect the economy at large. New research from CareerBuilder and Economic Modeling Specialists explains why some metropolitan areas have been thriving more than others since the start of the recovery.

Consider that total U.S. employment grew 4 percent from 2010 to 2013. You might assume that same growth rate occurred consistently throughout the country, but that’s not exactly what happened. For example, had Houston grown 4 percent over that period, 142,378 jobs would have been added. Instead, it added 250,607 new jobs, significantly outpacing national growth—an unexpected addition of 108,229 jobs, also known as the competitive effect.

CareerBuilder and EMSI looked at the total job growth across industries for the 50 most populous U.S. metros between 2010 and 2013. Each metro’s job growth was compared to what would have been expected during that same period based on national growth trends. The difference between the two measurements is called the competitive effect. In the case of Houston, this competitive effect—as seen in the additional 108,229 jobs—signals a unique driver in its regional economy.

Top 10 metros
Of the metros that experienced the largest post-recession growth, Houston exceeded expectations the most in terms of the raw number of jobs added. With 6 percent, Austin experienced the most growth in terms of percentage of total jobs gained due to a metro’s competitive effect.

Metropolitan Statistical Area (MSA) Employment from 2010-2013
MSA	Total employment in 2013	No. of jobs actually added	No. of jobs expected to be added *	No. of jobs added beyond expected growth  (competitive effect)	Percentage of total jobs due to competitive effect
1. Houston, TX	3,030,835	250,607	142,378	108,229	3.6%
2. Dallas, TX	3,370,536	221,161	130,742	90,419	2.7%
3. San Francisco, CA	2,336,223	165,768	80,549	85,219	3.6%
4. Los Angeles, CA	6,282,545	283,664	207,319	76,345	1.2%
5. Austin, TX	929,439	84,774	29,152	55,622	6.0%
6. Phoenix, AZ	1,956,524	124,501	70,263	54,238	2.8%
7. Miami, FL	2,540,304	134,588	83,934	50,654	2.0%
8. San Jose, CA	1,040,777	90,559	46,767	43,792	4.2%
9. Detroit, MI	1,932,779	125,330	89,148	36,182	1.9%
10. Riverside, CA	1,432,813	76,646	42,412	34,234	2.4%

* Based on national job growth

Metros by industry
Although you might expect to see some of the nation’s most high-profile metros on the top 10 list, their respective competitive effects were negative—despite adding more than 100,000 jobs each. New York experienced job loss due to downward national trends in finance, manufacturing and health care. Chicago didn’t see the expected manufacturing growth, and it lost a critical amount of government, hospital and insurance carrier positions. Meanwhile, Philadelphia suffered from losses in education, commercial banking and manufacturing jobs.
Many of these metros are heavily dominated by specialized technical industries with well-established local supply chains. The overall job growth in these markets is not primarily a product of national economic trends, but rather distinct factors in the local economy such as energy resources in Houston, technology hubs in Silicon Valley and Austin, or the motion picture industry in Los Angeles. Thirty-two of the top 50 metros have outperformed national employment growth post-recession which, in turn, can have a positive influence on other geographies.
Each of the top 10 metros for competitive growth has a core set of industries that help drive its local economy:

1. Houston: Oil and gas extraction; support activities for mining, architectural and engineering services; and education.

2. Dallas: Commercial banking; computer systems design; education; and general medical and surgical hospitals.

3. San Francisco: Computer systems design; Internet publishing and broadcasting and Web search portals; and management of companies.

4. Los Angeles: Motion picture and video industries; payroll services and accounting; agents and managers for artists, athletes, entertainers, etc.; surgical and medical instrument manufacturing; and guided missile and space vehicle manufacturing.

5. Austin: Data processing and hosting; computer system design, management, scientific and technical consulting services; and semiconductor manufacturing.

6. Phoenix: Private colleges, universities and professional schools; commercial banking; professional employer organizations; and semiconductor manufacturing.

7. Miami: Legal services; business support services; freight transportation; payroll services; and activities related to real estate.

8. San Jose: Computer system design; computer manufacturing; semiconductor manufacturing; and software publishing.

9. Detroit: Motor vehicle manufacturing; engineering services; and temporary help services.


10. Riverside: General warehousing and storage; offices of physicians; and heavy and civil engineering construction.

5 Crucial Secrets of Reference Checking

Experts reveal top 2014 reference checking trends

 By Sarah Browne

When Molly finally landed an interview with a company she'd been interested in for months, she was thrilled. Her phone call with the hiring manager had gone well. Or so she thought. Weeks later, she still hadn't heard about scheduling an in-person interview. Molly was baffled. Her background matched the job description closely; her references were excellent, and the recruiter had been encouraging. The vanishing act made zero sense.

Later that year, she ran into an old friend who worked at the company where she'd interviewed. The friend, promising to look into the situation, said "They loved you. I don't understand." She contacted Molly shortly afterwards: "They couldn't find two of your references. Your longtime boss, and a supervisor. They tried phone numbers and emails but couldn't get answers."

Molly's heart sank when she realized what happened. These references had recently retired. Of course the emails and business phone numbers hadn't worked.

Reference checking is a perplexing and often painful part of the job search process. Radical shifts in the industry, from legal to cultural to digital, make it tough to keep up with the latest employment, HR and recruiter requirements. Last year's hottest trend in hiring may suddenly cool while new trends force job seekers to revamp everything from resumes to references.

AOL Jobs turned to the reference-checking experts at AllisonTaylor for guidance on this crucial part of the hiring process. The company has identified 2014's hottest trends -- the ones that could help you get the job you want:

1. References have become more, not less, valuable with former supervisors becoming increasingly important. Prospective employers realize that former supervisors are far more likely to give candid feedback about a candidate than more traditional HR references.

2. Employers are increasingly conducting reference checks earlier in the job screening process. An increasing number of employers are deciding that it is more efficient to conduct the reference checks prior to the interview process. Weeding out the candidates with negative references protects the valuable time of the interviewers.

3. Maintaining close contact with your references has become increasingly important due to demographic shifts in the workplace. Many people in upper-level management are "boomers" who are now hitting retirement age. If that key reference retires, and you don't have his or her current contact information, it could be detrimental to your job seeking process. Molly learned this lesson the hard way.

4. "Boomerang" hiring is up so staying in touch with former employers can be crucial. Companies that may have had to lay workers off in recent years are now looking to increase their numbers, and many are more than willing to rehire old employees.

5. Effectively formatting one's references can give a candidate an edge on the competition. An effective reference list will identify those attributes the references can attest to, something that will make the prospective employer's job easier - and is guaranteed to reflect the job seeker in a proactive light.

Good news from another controversial hiring area: The social media background check trend is fading fast, falling victim to increasing concern over possible state laws, discrimination suits or other hot potato issues. "Shoulder surfing" -- forcing the applicant to log in to a website and giving a potential employer access to personal social content -- has lost its appeal, as has requiring an applicant's password. Some of this is because of the growing savvy of job searchers' use of social media, as more understand the power of social to help or hurt their efforts.

What are your weaknesses? 10 tips to deal with the inevitable question

Michael Kingston, freelancer

Unless you've suddenly morphed into Henry Cavill's Superman and can confidently reply "only Kryptonite," "What are your weaknesses?" is the one interview question you can't avoid. While there is no one-size-fits-all response, the following tips will help you prepare for the inevitable question.

1. Be honest with yourself: We all have weaknesses. We all make mistakes. You need to be as clear on your weaknesses as you are on your strengths. If you're unsure, take an online personality profile test or ask colleagues who you trust to give you a candid opinion of what they perceive your weaknesses to be (and strengths).
2.  Put a positive spin on it: Always highlight examples of where you've turned your weakness into a strength, but don't mention a weakness you're still working on. Any you reveal to the hiring manager must be those you've resolved, especially if they are in any way related to the vacancy for which you've applied.
3. Watch your language: Words such as "frustrated" and 'impatient" will reflect negatively on you, for example, "I get frustrated when analyzing financial information." Respond with, "I don't always find financial analysis an easy part of this job, but I have attended additional training courses and spent time with our financial manager to gain a thorough understanding of what's needed. He was so pleased with my progress that last month he asked me to prepare a financial report for his department." This demonstrates a depth of self-awareness and an ability to respond to your personal weaknesses.
4. Don't rehearse the response: It's impossible to role play an exact response to this question as it will be influenced by the way the interview is progressing. Mentally prepare a general answer but nothing more. Most hiring managers prefer a natural reply, not a clearly rehearsed one.
5. Some weaknesses won't be relevant: If you struggle with admin but you've applied for a sales position, that won't generally be an issue. Good sales people are notoriously bad when it comes to admin. You are demonstrating that your job search is focused on roles that will play to your strengths. Apply a positive approach, for example, "I'm quite weak when it comes to admin so I have developed my own checklist in every job that I've been in and monitored it throughout the project's life cycle." In that way, you demonstrate your awareness of your weakness and how you manage it.
6. Stick with work-related weaknesses: Your inability to resist munching your way through copious amounts of popcorn every time you go to the movies isn't really relevant.
7. Don't use clichéd responses: "I work too hard" or "I'm a perfectionist" are typical responses to this question uttered by many candidates. They don't ring true and sound rehearsed. Don't be tempted to use them.
8. Make it specific: By citing "lack of organizational skills" as a weakness, your response is too vague. Give specific examples, such as those mentioned above. Why are your organizational skills poor? How have you taken steps to resolve those issues?
9. Avoid jobs that work on your weaknesses: Continually being called to work in an area of weakness is demoralizing for employees and one of the top reasons that people change jobs.  If you know you lack the confidence or ability to make a formal presentation to a room full of potential clients, don't apply for jobs that rely on those skills.

10. Above all, be authentic: Having a weakness doesn't make you inadequate, it makes you human. Even Superman had a weakness, remember?

How to Handle Tough Conversations At Work

Are you a topper or a plusser? Become a first-class listener

By Marty Nemko

Dr. Mark Goulston was three times named one of America's best psychiatrists by the Consumers Research Council and now focuses on helping people communicate more effectively in the workplace. He has been a columnist in the Los Angeles Times and Harvard Business Review and written a number of books, including Real Influence: Persuade without Pushing.

He was a guest on my NPR-San Francisco radio program. Here are the conversation's highlights:

Marty Nemko: You believe in something called heartfelt leadership. Famed GE CEO Jack Welch would not have been called a heartfelt leader. Indeed they called him, Neutron Jack. What would you say to Jack Welch?

Mark Goulston: I know Jack Welch. He is a heartfelt leader. If a leader's commitment to excellence serves selfish needs, they're not heartfelt. But if their goal is the greater good, then they are. Many people who call Jack Welch "Neutron Jack" are simply defensive. They fear accountability.


MN: If a leader is selfishly motivated but that drives him or her to work 60, 70 hours a week and to make tough decisions -- like firing B players -- that do lead to better products and services, can you really call him heartless?

MG: The problem is that usually if someone gets a taste of greed, feeling like master of the universe, it's corrupting, so the larger good takes a back seat to their desire for money and power. You need to check with those around you and see if your behavior really does serve the larger good.


MN: Most studies find that we get better performance from others if we use both carrots and sticks. That's why some leaders induce fear. Is there a role of fear-inducing even in the heartfelt leader?

MG: If you're aggressive, fear-inducing for a larger good, okay. For example, a leader might say, "Our new product can make a real difference but I need you to work real hard on this. And if you don't, I will not be happy."


MN: How about appealing to cosmic good, even with something as mundane as toilet paper? If I'm the president of Northern toilet paper, I might say, "It's easy for us to think we're just selling toilet paper. But as you know, our R&D department has worked like dogs to come up with a toilet paper that's soft yet strong. That matters to millions of people. At the moment of truth, we can't afford that toilet paper to not be strong."

MG: You're right. I wasn't appealing to a noble-enough cause. We should appeal not to where they are but to where they should aspire. That reminds me of when JFK or a NASA administrator said something like, "We get to be a part of science fiction. We'll get to put people on the moon and back. We'll have something that will inspire our children and our grandchildren."


MN: People agree they should be direct, tactful but direct. But there's a Grand Canyon of difference between what we do and should do. How do we close the gap?

MG: Many people are conflict-avoidant, afraid how a person will react. So they don't provide necessary feedback.


MN: You told me that even though you wrote a book on listening, Just Listen, you find it hard to listen well.

MG: When I talk a lot, it's my insecurity. Before I go into a conversation, I tell myself to listen, to not be a topper but a plusser -- adding to someone's statement rather than trying to top it, for example, if someone says "I went to Hawaii" and I say, "Oh, we went to Fiji."


MN: Has anyone given you a second chance when you felt you didn't really deserve it?

MG: I had been kicked out of medical school and asked the Dean of Students, Dean McNary for another chance. I'll never forget what he said: "You're a very kind person. The world needs doctors like you." And he gave me that chance.


Caller #1: I've been a substitute college instructor for 22 years and been well-received, caring and diligent. But a year ago, my supervisor told me that a student complained that I was too strict and rude. I've been taken off the sub list without even being able to find out who the student was, let alone talk with her. What should I do?

Mark Goulston: Call people who think well of you and say something like, "I'm having to look for another job and wondering if I could pay you to give me some honest feedback." I'll bet they'll give you useful and positive feedback and wouldn't even take your money.

Marty Nemko (to the caller): Remember too that especially here in the Bay Area, we've done a perhaps too good a job of building students' self-esteem, that their opinion is as worthy as anyone else's -- even an instructor's. If, for example, you did invalidate some student's opinion, that doesn't mean they have the right to be offended, let alone get you fired.

Mark Goulston (to the caller:) It may help in the future to say something to students like, "Sometimes, I'll be direct with you. Know that it comes from a good place and a desire to be helpful."


Caller #2: I got fired. I want my job back.

Mark Goulston: Sometimes, the 4R's can help. The first R is Remorse: The 2nd R is Restitution; If you were to give me a second chance, here's what I've learned--what I'll always do and never do. And if that's not right, tell me. The 3rd R is Rehabilitation: Propose how you'll learn your new habits. The 4th R is to Request forgiveness.

Marty Nemko: Anything else you want to share with us?

Mark Goulston: Become a first-class noticer. Notice what's making people happy, sad, engaged, disengaged. That may be the most important communication tool.

6 career lessons from the World Cup

By Anthony Balderrama

Every four years, the men’s and women’s World Cups come along—the men’s tournament is this year, the women play next year—and, if you’re American, soccer is suddenly front-page news. For one month you can turn on the TV (or livestream on your computer if you’re stuck at work) and see the world’s best soccer players battling for the biggest prize in the game and also giving you a heart attack as you watch them lose the lead in the last minute of a game. Hypothetically, of course.

Still, the World Cup is fun because it’s the best players around the world doing what they do best and letting you live vicariously through their fancy footwork. It’s also a month-long display of teamwork, camaraderie, sportsmanship and competition on the world stage.

Maybe it’s because we’ve watched so many games—or maybe we just want to justify having watched so many games during work hours—but we’ve noticed a few lessons we can all learn from these players.
Here are six do’s and don’ts we can all take from the pitch to the workplace:

1. Do realize sometimes you need to go backward in order to move forward
A good team knows that you can’t just take a shot because you’re near the goal; you need to have the right opportunity otherwise you’ll lose possession. So you might be painfully near the goal but then pass it back and back and back until it’s time to strike. A great player also knows that sometimes you’ve got to take the risk and shoot.
At work: When an opportunity, such as a promotion or even a new job, presents itself, your instinct might be to take it and charge ahead. That might be the right opportunity…but it might not be. Think about your career goals, what makes you happy, what you’re good at, and what makes the most sense for you. Sometimes saying, “Not right now” is the right choice.
2. Don’t headbutt people.
You’ll get a red card and have to miss a few games.
At work: You’ll probably get fired and maybe even criminally charged.
3. Do think of the big picture
The World Cup has a points system and groupings that make for some odd results. For example, one team can tie another team or maybe even lose, but if the points work out, they both still advance to the next round. A win is always great, but sometimes not winning still has a positive outcome overall.
At work: Getting mired in the minutiae of office politics or minor setbacks can take a toll on your self-esteem. After a frustrating day, you might think there’s no point in trying anymore. Before you decide to give up and go elsewhere, think about what’s really happening. Is your career path derailed or are you just having a bad day? Don’t get so discouraged by a minor obstacle that you fail to see what’s going right with your career.
4. Don’t bite your colleagues.
Biting other players is generally discouraged and can cost you a lot.
At work: No good can come from biting anyone. Let’s just leave it at that. If you disagree, you might want to talk to your HR representative.
5. Do trust your team
Goalkeepers have a lot of pressure. They’re the last line of defense against an opponent’s kick, and letting a goal in can be the difference between going home or moving up. Still, that ball had to get past 10 other players in order to get into that net, and the keeper has trust that the team is doing its best to make sure that doesn’t happen.
At work: If you have no reason to doubt the skills and support of your colleagues, then don’t. Let them do their jobs using their expertise, and trust that they will deliver quality work. Relying on other people can be scary, especially when your career is involved, but it’s necessary because no one can do everything alone. However, if you really can’t trust the people around you, then you might want to look for another job.
6. Don’t exchange shirts with your co-workers
Some players like switching jerseys with their opponents after a game. It’s a ritual to show camaraderie and often signifies an important game.
At work: Asking a colleague to exchange shirts is only setting yourself up for a lawsuit and probably a lifetime ban from all happy hours.

No Job Bites? Try The Emotional Cover Letter

Create a warm and fuzzy connection by telling your story

By Marty Nemko

Most cover letters have had an emotionectomy. Any sign of humanity has been replaced by sterile, job-seeker language like, "Spearheaded initiative that yielded 17% ROI," "Dynamic, self-starter seeks leadership opportunity with progressive company" or "Drove profit maximization through rigorous cost-control measures."

Cover letters' lack of emotion is ironic When a job is advertised, chances are that a number of candidates are pretty similar in qualifications. What often differentiates them is a feeling, an intuition the boss has about the candidates. Sterile cover letters don't create warm and fuzzies.

I'm aware that it's a risk to speak from the heart but my clients have found that doing that tends to screen out cold-hearted employers and makes it more likely that a warm-hearted one will say yes. And isn't that who you want to work for anyway?

What's an emotional cover letter? Of course, it starts by avoiding job-seeker language--That makes you seem like you're hiding your real self behind resume-speak. Replace that with a cover letter that tells your true human story in plain English, beauty marks and warts. Consider this letter from a hard-to-employ person: an ex-felon.

Hello,

You may be tempted to throw my application in the trash when you see that I just finished doing four years in Sing-Sing for armed robbery. I wouldn't blame you if you would. After what I saw in Sing-Sing, I'd probably do it myself.

But on the off chance that maybe someone gave you a break at some point, let me tell you my story-no excuses. I was a jerk, bad in school, joined a gang, did a bunch of robbery. Never hurt anyone. Not my style. But I was a robber.

I'm now 24 and sick of it all, sick of myself, to tell you the truth. I hope I'm being honest in saying I'd rather make $10 an hour honestly than $1,000 robbing some liquor store.

I realize I don't deserve a good job, at least not yet. So I'll do anything: sweep floors, clean toilets, load boxes all day. I want to prove myself to you and to myself.

If you'd be willing to at least interview me, it would give me hope, which is what I need right now when I hear that most ex-felons can't find a job.

Anyway, here's my resume but it won't look good---Sing-Sing for four years isn't going to make my resume top-of-the-heap.

Against the odds, hoping to hear from you,

Sincerely,

If you were that employer, wouldn't you be more likely to interview him based on this letter than on the standard sterile one?

If that's true for an ex-felon, it's more true for the more common situations in which an applicant doesn't have the usually desired continuous employment showing increasing responsibility in which the target job is the perfect next step. Examples: You're sick of being a corporate employee and want to work for a nonprofit. You've been a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. Or you're a fun-lover who, before starting your career, took a couple years after college to "find yourself" and just have some fun.

Especially if you haven't had much success using the standard, antiseptic cover letter, consider trying an emotional one.

* * * * *

Marty Nemko welcomes your visiting his website: www.martynemko.com where lots of his writings and radio show are archived. And, if you need career help, you can email Marty Nemko at mnemko@comcast.net

Help and Hope for the Depressed Job Seeker

Practical ideas for job seekers who think they've tried everything

By Marty Nemko

Ben has reason to be depressed. "Laid off" twice, not sure how strong a reference his ex-boss will give him, he's 50 years old and overweight, been job-hunting for eight months, having gotten a total of three interviews and batting 0 for 3. He blames it on his having mainly soft skills, a widely held skill-set.

His wife, too, is struggling despite great credentials. She's tried to land a full-time college teaching job but the best she's ever landed has been a part-time community college instructor position, no benefits. She said, "It's ironic that I teach a class in which I champion worker rights yet my own employer pays me what ends up being little more than minimum wage and hires me 49% time to avoid paying benefits."

At 50, they feel the need to pay for health insurance. They're behind on their rent and their landlord is making eviction noises. Ben has networked, answered countless ads, even cold-called employers that are not advertising a job, all to no avail. He feels he's run out of options. He's beyond depressed; he's thought of suicide.

Indeed, the suicide rate among middle-aged people is up 30% between 1999 and 2010, more than the number that die in car accidents, with men being more than three times as likely to kill themselves. While there are many causes, the researchers specifically cite the economic downturn and resulting financial stress.

Realistic hope

Long-term unemployed job seekers have more options than they may think:

Circle back. The odds of your network having a job lead for you at any given moment is tiny. If it's been more than a month, circle back to everyone. Here's sample wording:

Susie, I appreciate your having offered to keep your ears open for me. By any chance, is there someone you think I should talk with? If you'll recall, I'm looking for a people or project management job, especially in the health care or environmental space but I'm flexible. I'm even open to a launchpad job, one that's lower-level but when I prove myself, I could move up.

If your contact doesn't have a lead for you, ask, "Would you mind continuing to keep you ears open and if I'm still looking in a month, I circle back to you?"

Change job targets? Perhaps you've been overreaching. If so, should you drop down your search, say from management to individual contributor positions. Or have you been pursuing a job in a field with too few openings or with great competition. For example, sexy fields like the environment, entertainment, biotech, fashion, and journalism tend to be tougher than, for example, the transportation, food, or housing industries.

Consider enjoyable interim jobs.
Sitting at home may make you more depressed. So you might want to apply for jobs for which the employer would be lucky to have you. Even some low-level jobs can be quite enjoyable. Any of these appeal?

• Sports fans might enjoy selling beer and hot dogs at the ball park
• Book lovers might enjoy working at a bookstore or in a library, even if just shelving books.
• Fashionistas might enjoy working at a favorite boutique or department store.
• Plant lovers might want to do landscaping or garden maintenance.
• Café lovers might seek a job as a waitperson or even busser.
• The most fun job I ever had was as a New York City cab driver. I got to meet all sorts of people, I enjoy driving and that I could double-park when I wanted to grab a great slice of pizza.
• Some people don't mind or even like working in a grungy job: janitorial, warehouse, even a water treatment plant.

Walk in. If someone phoned you asking if you wouldn't mind taking care of a newborn temporarily, you might well say no. But if the doorbell rang and there was a cradle with a newborn, wouldn't you be more likely to take it in?

Same is true of job seekers. It's easy to say no to a voice on the phone and especially to an email. It's harder to brush away a flesh-and-blood human being, especially one who politely asks for help. That probably won't work at a large organization where there's a phalanx of security to keep you out but, for example, in an office building in which many businesses have an office, it might be worth going door-to-door.

Imagine how you'd feel if you were the receptionist and someone walked in and said, for example:

I'm an accountant or I should say I was. Although I got good evaluations, I got laid off. So I'm looking for a job. I know the standard way is to answer ads but I live near here and so I thought I'd drop in and see if I could get some advice and maybe even an interview. I'm wondering if you might allow me to speak with someone?

Is it not possible you'd say yes? Certainly, if you're a job seeker, you have nothing to lose. You can survive "No." You can survive 20 "Nos." And all you need is one decent job offer.
Start an ultra-low-cost business
At least as an interim, start a service business that has near-zero startup costs. Examples:

• Relationship ad consultant. Help people craft their ad: how they describe themselves, the sort of partner they're looking for, and take photos likely to attract their desired type of partner.
• Grief coach. People who lose a loved one, even a pet, may want support in getting past their sadness. They may not need a psychotherapist. They may just need a good listener who's gently encouraging.
• Sports tutor. Many high school athletes want to up their game, both for now and because they dream of a college sports scholarship and their parents will spend to boost their child's chances.

Find support
For some people, support is the only thing that keeps them from giving up. Options:

• A friend to check in with daily.
• A job-search support group. Here's a link to a directory of them.
• Religion. As in 12-step programs, it helps some people to surrender some control to a higher power. They feel, "If I'm doing my part and still am not finding a job, maybe it's God's will. When God decides it's time, I'll land a job, perhaps a better one than I would have gotten earlier."

Persistence
It's clichéd but true that even the most successful people fail and usually have failed a lot. Key is how they respond to failure: curl up in bed or be resilient. Here are a few quotes that may drive that home:

"Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in."
Bill Bradley

"When you feel tired, it means you've tried. It doesn't mean you quit trying."
Constance Chuks Friday

"I tried and failed. I tried again and again and succeeded."
Epitaph on Gail Borden's gravestone.

"To make our way, we must have firm resolve, persistence, tenacity. We must gear ourselves to work hard all the way. We can never let up."
Ralph Bunche

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." Calvin Coolidge

I can leave you with no better advice.    

Learn How to Sell Yourself to a Future Employer

In 2014, you need to turn yourself into a brand

By Jill Jacinto

You can give anyone a run down on the latest season of 24, Net Neutrality or the Amazon vs. Hachette showdown, but yourself...that's a much different story. Especially when it's attached to your professional experience, industry, desires and goals.

What's Your Brand? Ten years ago you'd never compare yourself to a brand but in 2014, you need to do just that. You are your best (and only) salesperson. As a new jobseeker you must learn how to sell – regardless of whether you're looking to go into sales at all. Learn about your field, research the power players, study the startups and the Fortune 500 companies. Learn their language. Understand how your internship, school courses, life experiences and skills can help shape this industry. Once you can see how you belong in this job sector you'll be much more able to 'sell' yourself.

Own Your Story: As a recent graduate you might feel insecure about your lack of professional work experience and get a bit stumped when it comes to talking about yourself. You need to develop your professional elevator speech and learn to articulate your accomplishments and professional goals. There's no doubt that during every interview you'll be asked two classic job interview questions: "Tell me about yourself," and "Why do you want this job?" Master your answers for these questions. Instead of winging it, write a script. It could even been a few bullet points identifying volunteer experiences, coursework, presentations, leadership roles or even conferences you attended.

Get it on Camera: Have a trusted (but honest) friend set up a mock interview and record your responses. Ask for their constructive feedback and play back the tape. Pinpoint where you stumble as well as the sections where you flourish. The more you rehearse, the more confident you'll be in the interview. As for the other question, "Tell me why you want this job" is actually a trick question. The interviewer is really asking, "Why should I hire you?" For each job you apply for you're going to have to re-write your script and identify what the company's needs and wants are. You'll also need to showcase your skills and most importantly let your passion shine through. Showing energy, and knowledge about the company are two traits that will set you apart from the rest of the applicants.    

Everything is awesome…or can be: 5 lessons from ‘The LEGO Movie’

By Jessica Wrobel




If you’re like me, for the past several months you’ve been startling co-workers, friends and family members by breaking into random renditions of “Everything is Awesome,” the signature song from “The LEGO Movie.” In an effort to get the song out of my head and to convince my colleagues that yes, even Legos can be work-related, I thought I’d look at what career lessons we can learn from the film.
For anyone not familiar with the plot, “The LEGO Movie” tells the story of an ordinary construction worker, Emmet, who is picked as “The Special” who can save the world from sure domination and destruction at the hands of President Business, aka Lord Business. Enlisted by a team of uniquely talented, diverse people — including a wise mystic, Batman and The Spaceman Benny — Emmet embarks on a journey he is hilariously unqualified for, picking up valuable lessons along the way.

Regardless of where you are in your own career journey, here are five lessons from The Lego Movie to help you along the way.

1. Everything is awesome.
In LEGO world: City inhabitants sing this song consistently throughout their day, blindly and blissfully unaware of approaching disaster. President Business realizes positivity is powerful and uses it for evil to keep people in line.
In your world: You can use positive thinking and reflection for good. Job search can be stressful, work can be overwhelming, and you may have days when you feel like nothing is going right. Even Emmet has moments where he feels defeated and ready to give up.
Instead of dwelling on what is going wrong, take some time each day to reflect on what is going right. Acknowledge the obstacle and then move on by envisioning your ideal future actions, behaviors, state of mind and environment. Business Insider notes that daily meditation can prevent you from burnout and get you closer to your ideal reality. A “can-do” attitude will keep you motivated whether you’re trying to save the world or find your target job.

2. Use the skills and talents that make you, YOU.
In LEGO world: Every member on the team of superheroes guiding Emmet in his journey is known as a Master Builder because they each have a unique area of skill or expertise. They believe a prophecy that Emmet is the most talented Master Builder and expect him to have similar abilities as the group. But he doesn’t. In fact, he’s pretty awful at most of the tasks the rest of the team can do with ease. Luckily, it doesn’t matter because he has other valuable talents that he can contribute.
In your world: It’s up to you in your job search and career to identify and highlight your strengths to build a personal brand. It enables employers to see the unique personality and character traits you bring to the table and how they set you apart from other job seekers.

3. Think outside the box…and inside the box.
In LEGO world: During a pivotal battle, the team of highly creative Master Builders attempts one failed outside-the-box idea after another. Finally, the responsibility falls to Emmet to save the day with a fresh idea. No pressure, right?
In your world: Many of us have faced the challenge of coming up with answers for an interview or new concepts that “wow” our audience. Stay calm by taking inventory of what you already know, creating a written list of as many ideas as possible. Avoid judging any of them right away. Instead, look for ways to improve or evolve what you wrote down. You may find an exciting new combination or alternative use for seemingly “normal” ideas that would otherwise been thrown away.

4. Don’t be the President Business of your office.
In LEGO world: President Business, an uptight company president and secret evil Lord Business, sees creativity as messy and chaotic. He attempts to keep everyone and everything in perfect, uniformed order using a robot militia of Micro Managers. In other words, he is the worst boss you could imagine.
In your world: If you manage others, create a culture that embraces a little wiggle room. Mistakes will happen occasionally and that is okay because your employees are people too. You will ultimately get better results when you foster creativity and avoid micro-management. If you’re the one dealing with a difficult boss, pick-and-choose your battles. Find ways to compromise and use your boss as a professional example for yourself of what not to do.

5. Keep priorities in sight. (SPOILER ALERT!)
In LEGO world: The LEGO Movie eventually reveals that the lives of all of the people in the LEGO universe are not real and were dreamed up by an imaginative young boy secretly playing with his father’s LEGO set. His father, referred to as “The Man Upstairs,” is the inspiration for the imaginary President Business — a controlling, strict and conventional work-a-holic who wants to build LEGOs only according to the directions. Eventually, the business-suited man upstairs comes downstairs for a little work/life balance reflection.

In your world: There is no perfect equation for balancing the activities in your life, but you can prioritize. If you feel you are neglecting an important area, whether at work or at home, consider which unnecessary or unfulfilling tasks you can cut out. Draw clear boundaries for certain activities and find time to unplug.

INFOGRAPHIC: The 10 biggest productivity killers at work

By Susan Ricker 

Choose your own adventure: You’re at work and can either A) Start that big project or B) Just check your Facebook first. Tough choice, right?
While it’s tempting to take advantage of technology’s vast supply of entertainment, communication and information sources, these minor sidetracks could end up costing major time. According to a new CareerBuilder survey, 24 percent of workers admit they spend at least one hour each day on personal calls, emails or texts. The amount of time workers spent searching the Internet for non-work reasons wasn’t much better. But are employees really working less? Or can technology and other productivity killers actually help keep your work day balanced?
“While many managers feel their teams perform at a desirable level, they also warn that little distractions can add up to bigger gaps in productivity,” says Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “It’s important to be organized and designate times to work on different deliverables. Minimize interruptions and save personal communications for your lunch hour or break. It can help put more time and momentum back into your workday.”
To learn about where you may be wasting your time, and what employers are doing to stop it, check out the infographic below (and click to enlarge):

While employers are taking measures to cut down on productivity killers, you can find ways to work smarter — not harder — by employing these tips Haefner offers to avoid wasting time on the job:

1. Organize and prioritize – De-clutter your workspace and clearly lay out your game plan for the week. What do you need to accomplish each day? How much time will each project take? Which projects have the highest priority?
2. Limit interruptions – Incoming calls and co-workers dropping by to chat about their weekend can break your concentration and eat up time. Block off a conference room to work on a project to avoid distractions at your desk. Read email at intervals instead of opening each one as soon as it comes in. Consider telecommuting on certain days.
3. Avoid unnecessary meetings – Don’t set aside an hour to meet about an issue or initiative that can be addressed with a quick phone call. Politely decline the meeting invitation and follow up with the organizer.
4. Get personal on your own time – Whether you want to call a friend, take advantage of an online sale or post a picture of your dog on your social profile, do it during your lunch hour or break time or after work.
5. Communicate wisely – Don’t spend 20 minutes crafting an email to the person sitting in the next cubicle. Save time by picking up the phone or walking over to your colleague’s desk.
6. Don’t delay the inevitable – Finding other things to do so you can put off a project you don’t want to work on will only end up wasting more time. Don’t procrastinate. Dive in and tackle the task at hand.

11 Things You Should Never Say at Work

Including one word you should drop from all sentences immediately

By Business Insider

By Emmie Martin

What you say matters. Whether you're voicing an idea during a meeting or making an offhand comment at lunch, everything you say adds to your overall character.

In the new book "Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success," Sylvia Ann Hewlett says three things signal whether a professional is leadership material: how they act, how they look, and how they speak.

Speaking eloquently not only improves your daily communications, it builds up your overall persona and executive presence. "Every verbal encounter is a vital opportunity to create and nurture a positive impression," Hewlett writes.

Some phrases instantly undermine your authority and professionalism, and should be banned from the office. Here are 11 things you should never say at work:

1. "Does that make sense?"
Instead of making sure you're understood, asking this tells the listener that you don't fully understand the idea yourself, career coach Tara Sophia Mohr told Refinery 29. Instead, she suggests asking, "What are your thoughts?"

2. "It's not fair."
Simply complaining about an injustice isn't going to change the situation. "Whether it's a troubling issue at work or a serious problem for the planet, the point in avoiding this phrase is to be proactive about the issues versus complaining, or worse, passively whining," Darlene Price, author of "Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results" told Forbes.

3. "I haven't had time."
"More often than not, this is simply not true," said Atle Skalleberg in a LinkedIn post. Whether you didn't make time for the task or forgot about it, Skalleberg suggests giving a time when it will be done instead of explaining why it's late.

4. "Just"
Adding "just" as a filler word in sentences, such as saying "I just want to check if..." or "I just think that..." may seem harmless, but it can detract from what you're saying. "We insert justs because we're worried about coming on too strong," says Mohr, "but they make the speaker sound defensive, a little whiny, and tentative." Leave them out, and you'll speak with more authority.

5. "But I sent it in an email a week ago."
If someone doesn't get back to you, it's your job to follow up, says Skalleberg. Be proactive when communicating instead of letting the other person take the blame.

6. "I hate..." or "It's so annoying when..."
Insults have no place in the office, especially when directed at a specific person or company practice. "Not only does it reveal juvenile school-yard immaturity, it's language that is liable and fire-able," says Price.

7. "That's not my responsibility."
Even if it's not your specific duty, stepping up to help shows that you're a team player and willing to go the extra mile. "At the end of the day, we're all responsible," Skalleberg says.

8. "You should have..."
"Chances are, these fault-finding words inflict feelings of blame and finger-pointing," Price says. She suggests using a positive approach instead, such as saying, "In the future, I recommend..."

9. "I may be wrong, but..."
Price calls this kind of language "discounting," meaning that it immediately reduces the impact of whatever you're about to say. "Eliminate any prefacing phrase that demeans the importance of who you are or lessens the significance of what you contribute," she says.

10. "Sorry, but..."
This implies that you're automatically being annoying. "Don't apologize for taking up space, or for having something to say," says Mohr.

11. "Actually..."
Prefacing sentences with this word, as in, "Actually, it's right over there," or "Actually, you can do it this way," puts distance between you and the listener by hinting that they were somehow wrong, according to Carolyn Kopprasch, chief happiness officer at Buffer. Rephrase to create a more positive sentiment.